I'm not good enough for one, what about the other?
by clutzel16
Summary: What if McGee had a question for Gibbs after the episode, "The Penelope Papers?"


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Ncis, though, it would be nice to! I also don't own any of the characters in this story. All characters belong to Ncis.

**Warning: **I tried to keep all characters in character, but I'm afraid that I might not have been able to!

**This story goes along with the episode, "The Penelope Papers."**

Special Agent, Timothy McGee, couldn't get this past case and couple days out of his mind. The case, without his grandmother being involved, wasn't very demanding, but adding her into the mix made it. First she was a friend of the victim, and then she was a suspect he had to interrogate. He had to be forceful with her; break her like she was some kind of hardened criminal! Eventually she cracked, and then she was no longer a suspect but a witness of some sort that needed protecting. When the case was over, the words she spoke engrained themselves into his mind. So much so, he attempted to call his father after years of being estranged. He picked up the phone, went to dial those seven digits and then hung up. The pangs of rejection flaring up in his heart and inside his head, made him fearful of even trying to be wanted again.

He could never understand the complexity that was his father. When he was accepted to MIT, when he graduated, when he made it through FLETC, and when he became a federal agent for Ncis, he thought his father would be happy for him; proud of him even. Nothing, though, was ever good enough for him; joining the navy, something he knew his father wanted him to do, wouldn't have been either. There was just no pleasing the man. It hurt to know he wasn't good enough, smart enough, and hardworking enough. Even as a child, he couldn't do anything well enough; a birthday card wouldn't be creative enough, a 98 on a test wouldn't be high enough, and a present wouldn't be perfect enough for his father.

His grandmother, Penny, always told him that his father loved him; he was just a hard man to please. It was more like freaking impossible! Disparaging comments, disapproving looks, and unwanted feelings always emerged inside his head whenever he thought of his father. Love and approval never once crossed the man's features. Is it really that hard to say a little good job here and there? Maybe even a quick, nice work! I guess an, I love you is even harder, right?

His father and his boss, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, would get along splendidly. Both men were never satisfied with his work. Except at work, he wasn't fast enough or cop-smart enough; instead his boss was stuck with a tech savvy geek. Comparing the two of them is sad. At least Gibbs has told him once or twice that he did a good job. It never had any real feeling to it though; the compliments were always devoid of any emotion. Maybe he was just doomed, and no male authority figure in his life would ever think highly of him.

Gibbs' attitude towards him hurt more than his own fathers. His father has been horrible to him his entire life; it's just second nature to him now. Gibbs, though, he tried so hard to impress; when he first joined the team, he heard the man dish out praises to Tony and Kate. It might not have been often, but when he did he do it, he was sincere. So he tried to do whatever it was that they did, to earn some form of approval from his boss. It hardly ever worked. Even after all these years, Tony and now Ziva, receive more words of kindness than he did. Hadn't he earned the man's respect or acceptance by now?

To Gibbs, Tony and Ziva need a male father-figure in their life. Tony's father was horrible and Ziva's, well he trained her to be a killer and left her to die in a desert. Gibbs probably doesn't even realize that those two members aren't the only ones on the team in need of a father in their life.

That's exactly why he found himself outside of his boss's home. He needed to be reassured of his role on the team; he needed to know if he was wanted, cared for. Getting ready to knock on the door, he realized that his boss always kept the thing unlocked. Hesitantly his hand wrapped around the knob, gently turning the handle, and quietly opening the door. Stepping into the house, he heard shuffling in the basement. Smirking, he knew the man was building or working on his, what fifth boat now? Walking down the stairs, he saw his boss look up at him; seeing Gibbs nod his head, he continued his way towards his boss.

*********************************GPOV***************************************

"McGee," the tone out of Gibbs' mouth was confused, albeit gruff.

"Hi boss. Sorry for coming over like this; just needed to talk to you. Unless you want me to come back, cause I can or we, you know, can talk back at your office," he heard the kid say.

To say Gibbs was confused was the understatement of the year. His agent never came to his house, for anything; unless of course a case warranted it. Now, though, there was no reason for the kid to be here; in his basement. All the team knew they were welcomed to stop by whenever something was troubling them. There were quite a number of times he thought his youngest agent would stop by, but he never did; well, expect now of course, and for the life of him he couldn't figure out why. Then again, he was inclined to think that this past case had something to do with the visit. The kid had to interrogate his grandmother, because of him; maybe, just maybe, he wanted to ask him why. If it were him, he would have been pissed at his boss.

"Something on your mind McGee," Gibbs asked?  
He saw the kid, after all he was still just a kid, think; probably trying to figure out how best to phrase his next sentence. So patiently, which is not a virtue Gibbs was blessed with, he waited. Finally he saw the wheels beginning to snap back into place and knew it wouldn't be long until McGee started talking.

So when McGee, in a soft voice, replied with, "Actually boss, there is," he wasn't surprised.

At this point, he began to put his tools down so that he could face his agent; get a good look at his face. He noted how McGee wouldn't look him in the damn eye, how his forehead had tiny beads of sweat on it, and how nervous his agent looked. Didn't the kid realize he wasn't going to bite his head off?

He knew the kid was going to need help spitting out whatever the hell was on his mind. Guess he was going to have to coax it out of him. Damn, didn't his agent know he didn't have any patience? He hated puzzles that he couldn't solve, and the kid was beginning to be on big enigma.

"Spit it out McGee, I haven't got all night," Gibbs said.

He must have startled the poor kid, because he saw his agent jump and meet his eyes. As soon as the kid did, he looked away again. What the hell was on this kids mind? Talking to him shouldn't be this nerve-racking; is his agent really this afraid of talking to him?

Finally he heard the faint question, "Um boss, well I was just wondering, am I, you know, needed on this team?"

He didn't even need to think. Of course the question caught him of guard, but not enough where he was lost for words. So he asked, "What the hell are you talking about McGee? Course you're needed. What the hell's gotten into your mind?"

Didn't the kid know, he wouldn't be on his team if he wasn't needed? What the hell brought this up? The kid had to know his knowledge of computers was a valuable asset to have on his team, didn't he? This case, having to do with his family, had too of brought these feelings or thoughts up.

"I know I'm good with the computer stuff boss, but what about out in the field? I mean I'm no Tony or Ziva. How can you still want me out in the field," asked McGee?

"I don't know McGee, maybe it's cause you're good at you're damn job! You're not the same agent you were years ago. You got older, wiser, and less green. You're a damn good agent McGee. Don't start doubting your place on the team, or I'll have to kick your ass and take your damn badge," Gibbs said.

The kid was seriously starting to worry him. He was no Tony or Ziva, and that is a damn good thing. Computers were is specialty yes, but he was the best with witnesses and showing compassion. Tony was a cop before and Ziva, well, she was an assassin. McGee was a brilliant young agent stationed in Norfolk and he had taken him under his wing, because he could see the potential the kid had. He's damn lucky he took the kid, because if he hadn't he'd never know the kid. He couldn't imagine life without McGee; seeing him in the office was like sanding his boat, something naturally now. Maybe that's the problem; he just expected his agent to be there every day when he walked into the building. Had he taken advantage of something he knew he'd always have?

"McGee, what's this really about", Gibbs questioned?

"I don't really know boss. You wanna know something, though, you remind me of my dad. Always expecting the best of me, and when I give it, it's never good enough. Guess that's really what this is all about", McGee started to then asked, "If I'm never good enough for him, how can I be good enough for you, ya know?"

"Cause you wanna know something McGee, I'm not your father; that's why you're good enough for me. I don't tell you good job, cause I always figured you knew you did good for the case, for the team and for me. Guess I don't know you as well as I thought Tim," said Gibbs.

************************************TPOV************************************

Smiling at Gibbs, Tim knew they just reached a mutual understanding. He didn't feel like he was unwanted and not needed. He guessed maybe, just maybe, he got Gibbs wrong; just like Gibbs got him wrong. Letting the man get back to his boat, he went to head back home. At least one father thought he was good enough; the one father that really mattered. Tony and Ziva aren't the only ones on the team who have a new father in their life.

**Hope you all enjoyed! Please review and let me know how I did! I never did a McGee and Gibbs pairing; let me know if I did them justice!**


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